Coarse Jesting

Now I don't know about you all reading this, but I really love to laughing. Laughing for me is like therapy, forgetting the stresses of the day, even though it's brief, is a joy.

Last night, I went to a friend's house to hang out. As usual, in my group of friends, we got pretty silly and started to joke around quite a bit. Then the jokes started to get quite a bit coarse, which usually doesn't happen. Nevertheless, we all continued laughing, and ignored our slight shock. What harm was there in it anyway?

Today, I got a text from one of my friends quoting a verse in Ephesians and suggesting it as the topic of our next Bible study. It was the verse about coarse joking. I was immediately convicted and knew obviously we had gone too far. I went home and looked up the verse and it said,

³But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. ⁴Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. ⁵For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

I'd read that verse before, but this time is hit me hard. Not even a hint. Wow, I definitely know I've had more than a hint in my life. Up to this point, I've taken inappropriate joking with a grain of salt, not really being for it, but still laughing if I found something particularly funny. This shouldn't be so. Sex is a gift made by God, and by joking about it, we're making fun of something God meant to be special. And ANYONE who is impure has NO inheritance in the Kingdom of Heaven. Man, that's something to think about.

Ang

Copy cats...but it's okay right? I think....

You may have noticed by reading this blog I'm a total music addict. I love Christian music, it's one of my passions. The site www.jesusfreakhideout.com is a total God-send cause I go to one site to get all this great info.

At any rate, I went on JFH and was surprised to learn BarlowGirl is now taking a public stance against abortion. My heart began to pound. Bound4Life (www.bound4life.org) had been praying for an oppurtunity like this one for a while. I went to their site and found out they are starting their own organization called "Never Silence Life." I went to the "About" page. Sounds good. Suddenly it hit me. They are doing EXACTLY what Bound4Life is doing." The tape, making it a prayer meeting and not a protest. However, I became filled with a subtle anger.

I thought, "How can they do this? The Life Tape was Bound4Life's vision! They can't just steal it and make their own organization! This is bullcrap!" But then I realized the irony. Bound4Life isn't out there to make a name for themselves. They are out there praying with Life Tape on their mouths to end abortion. So is Never Silence Life. If they are both trying to accomplish the same goal, who cares what ideas are copied? Everyone is on the same team, to accoplish the same thing, the ending of abortion.

That's my two cents.

Ang

Short vent, just had some stuff on my mind...

This week has been really great. I hadn't been in my word lately and I was just getting back into my word and drawing more near to God than ever.

But yesterday, Becka told me some private information about a friend of ours that had been cutting.

I broke down and cried. I care about this person like family and I wanted nothing to happen to them. I felt so helpless like there was nothing I could do. Perhaps one of the reasons I cared so much is because I had been through a similar situation.

I stayed up till 12 am just praying and reading the Bible. I tried to do what one of my youth pastor had mentioned. Flipping open your bible somewhere in the middle and just reading what's there.

Man, God is good. I flipped open the Bible and it opened on Psalm 23. I was like, "God, this isn't what I need." But as I read, one phrase really jumped off the page. 

I WILL FEAR NO EVIL

Whether it's a spirit of depression or cutting, or just Satan trying to disrupt the awesome plan God has for my friend's life, I will fear no evil, for he is with me.

Purpose/My Story

Purpose. 

 

Is it normal for someone my age to have questions about my purpose in life? Of course, but, who can answer these questions? My mind tends to go on overload when I think about this topic. I start to panic thinking, "Will I ever graduate high school?" "What college should I go to?" "What should I major in?" "What if I hate my job and I'm stuck doing it forever? I HAVE TO PICK THE RIGHT MAJOR!!!" etc. But I feel like your purpose in life goes far beyond what you do, your job, family and all that. Far beyond what I can understand. 

 

I was reading a book the other day while still pondering this in my mind, and I came upon an article in the book with the title, 

 

YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE IS TO DRAW AS CLOSE TO GOD AS POSSIBLE

 

I thought immediately something between, "Yeah, whatever, I know." and "What? There's gotta be more to it than that." But really, there isn't. Follow God whole-heartedly and everything else will follow!

 

But this seemed hard for me for the longest time. About a year ago, I was living in complete and total condemnation, believing I was such a bad person God wouldn't want to be near me. I've mentioned the fact I was a cutter to a few of my friends which is, sort of true. Bluntly, I would dig dull knives into myself to deal with the stress and pain of life. There are some faint scar/scratches on my left forearm. It was an absolutely terrible time.

 

Then I went to this summer camp in Missouri called Awakening Teen Camp. I really so badly just wanted to feel close to God. But what happened the very first night of camp changed my life.

 

I was dead-tired and jetlagged and pretty much fell asleep during worship, and wasn’t doing much better during the message. But after the message, one of the counselors came over to pray for me. She began to say how she felt God just wanted to tell me he loves me, so so much.

 

Now being raised in a Christian home, that wasn’t something I hadn’t heard before. But it’s so different for someone else to tell you someone loves you, and for that person to tell you themselves. I could have gone home that day and been changed. God transformed me from the inside out in those 5-weeks. And I can never go back to the way it was.

Now, I still have really really hard days, but God helps me through. He is my ultimate joy. Some worship songs I can’t even make it through without crying just knowing all he’s done for me.

 

Staying focused on my purpose is tough though, but yet, I need to keep my focus that God is in control. When the time comes, he will help me through these tough decisions in my life.

Independence: wanting too much in the wrong time

My hands were piled with old used items I'd personally never use, Christian music was blaring that must have been popular 40 years ago. Yes, today my family had decided to go garage-saling. Some local catholic church was having a huge sale, and as you could guess, that wasn't exactly how I wanted to spend my weekand.

But yet, the constant unhappiness and discontent I was feeling had not just started today. It had seemed constant for at least a week. What was wrong with me? Were my hormones just acting up again?

Suddenly it hit me. Independence.

Now you may be thinking, "That makes no sense." And it's doesn't. But you see, I realized I was so unhappy because at this point in my life, I just wanted to be free of everything. Independent from my parents, my church leaders, God, everyone. It made me realize how true it is that my human nature is so evil, and that the Devil is so deceptive.

I basically was saying to myself, "I don't need anyone but myself to be happy!" And look where that got me. Unhappy and an all-around terrible person to be around.

Some people claim rebellion and wanting independence is part of becoming a teenager. But I honestly don't claim it. I strive to be still be dependent on my parents, because honestly, I need them still at this point in my life more than ever. And most of all, to be totally dependent on God for the rest of my life.

Love, I'm still finding out....

For some reason this has been a topic that has been on my mind all summer. True Love, what is it? In media and movies, it may seem quite clear. Boy + Girl = Love. However, it is a growing concern to me how love is portrayed in the movies.

Sure the first time the boy and the girl kiss, there's that fuzzy feeling. Almost a longing, for that same thing. I know as a teenager, I'm guilty of it myself. The shocking reality hit me one day, this isn't love at all. It's simply lust. All feeling, no commitment.

True love goes beyond the feeling, its about the commitment two people have to one another. Somedays they might feel deeply in love, someday's they may feel almost nothing, but the commitment stays strong regardless.

True love is not one-sided. You can't be in love with someone who doesn't love you back. You may really really like them, but it's not love.

This is something I'm striving for. I want more than just the fuzzy lovey dovey feeling love, I really want God's best for my life, God's love. I want to be able to find joy in my singleness, and enjoy God's perfect love, better than any movie, better than life.

Easier said than done of course, but I'm working on it.

For the Thinkers...

Okay I've realized I'm a thinker. Though it may not seem it (if you know me), I really like to sit down and contemplate things. Whether it be the beauty of nature, a song or a poem, I really think to sit down and think things over.

So I was listening to this really nice song by the artist Jon Foreman (lead singer of Switchfoot), called Baptize My Mind. One line in the song in perticular kept ringing in my head,

For these seeds to give birth to life, first it must die

Then suddenly it hit me. What a perfectly beautiful allegory of our salvation through Christ.

For us to truly start living for God, our flesh must die completely. And believe me, killing your flesh is not easy. I am not saying to start cutting yourself or trying to commit suicide. I am saying that we are all born with a sinful nature, and the deeper we get into God, the less the flesh has control over our lives.

Now understand me, I am not trying to point the finger. If there is anyone to point the finger at, it is myself. I lie. I cheat. I say things that aren't right. But like everything, you have to start somewhere.

Most of all pray, because God will help you through whatever you are struggling with.

Angela